Thecoachremi

I asked us to have a conversation about three Yoruba names—Afunsó, Afuntó, and Afunbi—not just as names, but as concepts. And I want to say this upfront: your responses were brilliant. Truly. But I was seeing it from a different angle entirely. This came to me in the wake of two recent discoveries that shook me—cases where people were treating other people's children worse than they'd treat animals. It forced me to sit with these names and what they actually mean. Literal translations: Afunsó: the one given to me to watch over. Afuntó: the one given to me to raise. Afunbi: the one given to me through birth. Here's what struck me: every single child bears these names. Whether we realise it or not, people don't cross our paths by accident. They're divinely positioned to receive from the deposits God has placed inside us, specifically for that moment. And we have to break down these walls of self-preservation that make us hoard our love, our care, our resources, as if ...

Many people know they need help, yet they keep postponing therapy. Not because they don't recognize their pain. But because they are afraid of what it might mean to face it. I interact with them daily, and I understand. They don't want to revisit the betrayal. They don't want to talk about the loss. They don't want to remember the rejection. They don't want to sit with the emotions they have worked so hard to escape. So they tell themselves they have moved on. The resist the thought of getting help. This is what many don't know, moving on and healing are not always the same thing. The truth is that no significant experience leaves us unchanged. Every wound shapes us in some way. The question is whether it shapes us through healing or through avoidance. Avoidance can feel like relief. It allows us to keep functioning, keep working, keep smiling, and keep going. But often, it is only a temporary shelter from pain, not a path through it. Imagine dislocating your ar...

The Beautiful Poem Behind the Proverb It all starts in 1802, when William Wordsworth wrote a short poem called "My Heart Leaps Up," sometimes known as "The Rainbow." The lines have been passed down through generations: My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in the sky: So was it when my life began; So is it now I am a man; So be it when I shall grow old, Or let me die! The Child is father of the Man; And I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety. The poem describes a simple, beautiful continuity. The poet felt pure joy and wonder at seeing a rainbow as a child, he still feels it now as an adult, and he hopes he continues to feel it as an old man. That childlike wonder has shaped the man he has become. In other words, the adult we become is, in a very real way, a product of the child we once were. A child who feels safe, loved, and free to explore is likely to grow into a confident, secure, and resilient adult. In contrast, a childhood marked ...

Character determinism is the idea that a person's choices, actions, and reactions are largely determined by their character—the relatively stable traits, beliefs, values, habits, temperament, and personality that make them who they are. In simple terms: > People do what they do because of who they are. According to character determinism, when someone faces a situation, their response is not random. It flows from their established character. Examples An honest person finds a wallet full of money. They are likely to return it because honesty is part of their character. A highly anxious person may interpret an innocent comment as criticism because their character has been shaped toward caution and threat detection. A generous person may naturally help others even when there is no reward. The idea is that character acts like an internal compass that guides decisions. How Character Is Formed Character is often influenced by: Genetics and temperament Family upbringing Childhood experi...

The Elevator to Success Is Not Out of Order I dare say, "The Elevator to Success Is Not Out of Order" You've heard the saying a hundred times. Maybe you've even repeated it to yourself on hard days, nodding along with its gritty wisdom: "The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time." There's truth here—real truth. Success does demand effort. Growth requires discomfort. Persistence matters. No legitimate achievement arrives wrapped in a bow, delivered by someone else's effort. The stairs are real, and you will climb them. But what if I told you that millions of people have been standing at the bottom of that staircase for years—not because the stairs are too steep, but because they've been told the elevator is broken when it never was? Not the magic kind of elevator. Not the "push a button and arrive at the penthouse" kind. But something far more real, far more available, and far more pow...

Relational Anxiety: When Every Relationship Feels Unsafe Some people are afraid of heights. Others are afraid of failure. Still others are afraid of loss. But there is another fear that rarely receives the attention it deserves: the fear of people. Not people in the obvious sense. Not crowds. Not strangers. Relationships. The fear of being misunderstood. The fear of being rejected. The fear of being excluded. The fear of being betrayed. The fear of being judged. The fear of not mattering. This is relational anxiety. It is the invisible tension that follows a person into conversations, meetings, family gatherings, friendships, marriages, and communities. It is the quiet expectation that something is about to go wrong, that someone is about to withdraw, criticise, disappoint, abandon, or hurt. For some, relational anxiety is so familiar that they no longer recognise it as anxiety. They simply call it reality. They believe they are seeing people as they truly are, when in fact they are of...